Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
nutella sex= disaster
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
