Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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