i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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