god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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