And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
