My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I will pee on everything he values.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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