My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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