Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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