i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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