apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
