guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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