If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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