i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
