i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
