He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
