Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do vagina's smell?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
