Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
