it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
