My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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