East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
