Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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