...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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