Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist