I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!