I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.