i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just need some of your time and all of your body.