I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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