So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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