Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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