when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
