dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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