just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
