so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
