I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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