Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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