I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
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She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
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You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize