HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
