I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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