She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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