Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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