census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
