I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My ATM looks so different sober.
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I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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