Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want nice things and good sex
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
