Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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