come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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