She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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