good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize