he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
