K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize