Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
