Don't you send me to vm
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
