Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
