I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
