im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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