a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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