just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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