after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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