I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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