roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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