Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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