K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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