dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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