Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
