do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
