11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Randomize
