This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
