Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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