If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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