at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
