Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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