He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
