come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
