I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
