He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
